By Ken B. (based on research by Dick B.)
© 2015 Anonymous. All
rights reserved
Did you know that there have been at least five (5) versions
of A.A. cofounder Bill W.’s personal testimony known as “Bill’s Story” in the
current (fourth, 2001) edition of
Alcoholics
Anonymous (“the Big Book”)?
1. Bill
Wilson, “W. G. Wilson’s Original Story
.”[1]
2. “Another
‘pre-original manuscript’ draft of chapters [one and two] in the Big Book.”
[2]
3. “Chapter
One: Bill’s Story” in what Bill W. called the “prepublication copy of the text
and some of the stories,” also known as the “Multilith Edition” and as the
“Original Manuscript.”
[3]
4. “Chapter
One: Bill’s Story” in the printer’s manuscript of
Alcoholics Anonymous.[4]
5. “Chapter
One: Bill’s Story” in
Alcoholics
Anonymous: The Story of How More Than One Hundred Men Have Recovered from
Alcoholism (New York City: Works Publishing Company, 1939).
[5]
A number of people have pointed to Bill W.’s mention of
Christ in the current (fourth, 2001) edition of the Big Book:
To Christ I conceded the certainty
of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him. His moral
teaching—most excellent. For myself, I had adopted those parts which seemed
convenient and not too difficult; the rest I disregarded.
[6]
But they have often failed
to note several important points relating to Bill’s comment about Christ: (1) The context of Bill’s
statement; (2) Bill’s Christian upbringing and the Christian training he
experienced in common with Ebby T. at Burr and Burton Seminary during Bill’s
senior year there (1912-1913); and (3) Bill’s life experiences up to the time
of his late-November 1934 meeting with his old school friend Ebby.
As to the context of Bill’s
statement, on page eight, Bill discusses his release from Towns Hospital after
his third stay there in September 1934 for treatment of alcoholism by Dr.
Silkworth. He then moves on to “the end of that bleak November [in 1934],” when
he received a telephone call from his “old school friend,” Ebby T. And Bill
continues writing about his late-November 1934 interaction with Ebby until page
13, at which point Bill moves on to discuss his fourth and final stay “at the hospital” for
treatment of alcoholism by Dr. Silkworth—an event which took place from
December 11-18, 1934, at Towns Hospital. His discussion of his interaction with
Ebby and his (Bill’s) thoughts about that meeting occupy about one-third of
“Bill’s Story.” His reunion with Ebby and what they discussed made up a very
important part of what Bill hoped to get across through his story about A.A.’s
proposed solution for overcoming the problem of alcoholism.
As to Bill W.’s Christian
upbringing, see, for example: Dick B.’s
The Conversion of Bill
W.: More on the Creator's Role in Early A.A.[7]
As to some of the Christianity in Ebby’s upbringing and family, see Mel B.,
Ebby.[8]
And as to Bill’s life experiences up to the time of his meeting with his friend
Ebby, it is important to remember that—despite Bill’s Christian upbringing—after
the unexpected death of his Burr and Burton Seminary school mate, and “girl
friend,” Bertha Bamford, in November 1912 during Bill’s senior year at Burr and
Burton, Bill blamed God for Bertha’s death and turned his back on God. And,
with the exception of Bill’s brief-but-profound spiritual experience with God
at
Winchester
Cathedral in England in August 1918 on his way to fight in France during
World War I, he had not really thought much about God since. That is, until Dr.
Silkworth had discussed with Bill during Bill’s third stay at Towns Hospital
for treatment of alcoholism in September 1934 that
the
Great Physician (Jesus Christ) could cure Bill of his alcoholism
.[9]
And then, about two months later, his friend Ebby showed up sober at Bill and
Lois’s house at 182 Clinton St. in Brooklyn talking about how he (Ebby) had
been saved (Ebby said, “I’ve got religion
.”[10])
and that God had done for him what he could not do for himself.
[11]
Now let’s look at an earlier
version of Bill W.’s discussion of Christ found in “W. G. Wilson’s Original
Story,” an account which would seem to be the earliest version of what has come
to be known as “Bill’s Story” in the Big Book.
Late one
afternoon near the end of that month of November I sat alone in the kitchen of
my home. As usual, I was half drunk and enough so that the keen edge of my
remorse was blunted. . . . Just as I was trying to decide whether to risk
concealing one of the full ones within easy reach of my side of the bed, the
phone rang.
. . . Over the
wire came the voice of an old school friend and drinking companion of boom
times. By the time we had exchanged greetings, I sensed that he was sober. This
seemed strange, for it was years since anyone could remember his coming to New
York in that condition. I had come to think of him as another hopeless devotee
of Bacchus. Current rumor had it that he had been committed to a state
institution for alcoholic insanity. I wondered if perhaps he had not just
escaped. Of course he would come over right away and take dinner with us. A
fine idea that, for I then would have an excuse to drink openly with him. . . .
The door opened
and there he stood, very erect and glowing. His deep voice boomed out cheerily
- the cast of his features - his eyes - the freshness of his complexion - this
was my friend of schooldays. There was a subtle something or other instantly
apparent even to my befuddled perception. Yes - there was certainly something
more - he was inexplicably different - what had happened to him?
We sat at the
table and I pushed a lusty glass of gin flavored with pineapple juice in his
direction. . . .
"Not
now", he said. I was a little crest fallen at this, though I was glad to
know that someone could refuse a drink at that moment - I knew I couldn't.
"On the wagon?" - I asked. He shook his head and looked at me with an
impish grin.
"Aren't you
going to have anything?"- I ventured presently.
"Just as
much obliged, but not tonight" I was disappointed, but curious. What had
got into the fellow - he wasn't himself.
"No, he's
not himself - he's somebody is else - not just that either - he was his old
self, plus something more, and maybe minus something". I couldn't put my
finger on it - his whole bearing almost shouted that something of great import
had taken place.
"Come now,
what's this all about", I asked. Smilingly, yet seriously, he looked
straight at me and said "I've got religion".
So that was it.
Last summer an alcoholic crackpot - this fall, washed in the blood of the Lamb.
[H]eavens, that might be even worse. I was thunderstruck, and he, of all
people. What on earth could one say to the poor fellow.
So I finally
blurted out "That's fine", and sat back waiting for a sizzling blast
on salvation and the relation of the Cross, the Holy Ghost, and the Devil
thereto. Yes, he did have that starry-eyed look, the old boy was on fire all
right. Well, bless his heart, let him rant. It was nice that he was sober after
all. I could stand it anyway, for there was plenty of gin and I took a little
comfort that tomorrow's ration wouldn't have to be used up right then.
Old memories of
Sunday School - the profit temperance pledge, which I never signed - the sound
of the preacher's voice which could be heard on still Sunday mornings way over
on the hillside beyond the railroad tracks, - My grandfather's quite scorn of
things some church people did to him - his fair minded attitude that I should
make up my mind about these things myself - his convictions that the . . . spheres
really had their music - but his denial of the right of preachers to tell him
how he should listen - his perfect lack of fear when he mentioned these things
just before his death - these memories surged up out of my childhood as I
listened to my friend. My own gorge rose for a moment to an all time high as my
anti-preacher - anti-church folk sentiment welled up inside me. These feelings
soon gave way to respectful attention as my former drinking companion rattled
on. Without knowing it, I stood at the great turning point of my life - I was
on the threshold of a fourth dimension of existence that I had doubtfully heard
some people describe and others pretend to have.
He went on to
lay before me a simple proposal. It was so simple and so little complicated
with the theology and dogma I had associated with religion that by degrees I
became astonished and delighted. I was astonished because a thing so simple
could accomplish the profound result I now beheld in the person of my friend.
To say that I was delighted is putting it mildly, for I realized that I could
go for his program also. Like all but a few . . . human beings I had believed
in the existence of a power greater than myself. True atheists are really very
scarce. It always seemed to me more difficult and illogical to be an atheist
than to believe there is a certain amount of law and order and purpose
underlying the universe. The faith of an atheist in his convictions is far more
blind then that of the religionist for it leads inevitably to the absurd
conclusion that the vast and ever changing cosmos originally grew out of a
cipher, and now has arrived at its present state through a series of haphazard
accidents, one of which is man himself. . . .
Such was the
picture I had of myself and the world in which I lived, that there was a mighty
rhythm, intelligence and purpose behind it all despite inconsistencies. I had
rather strongly believed.
But this was as
far as I had ever got toward the realization of God and my personal
relationship to Him. My thoughts of God were academic and speculative when I
had them, which for some years past had not been often. That God was an
intelligence power and love upon which I could absolutely rely as an individual
had not seriously occurred to me. Of course I knew in a general way what
theologians claimed but I could not see that religious persons as a class
demonstrated any more power, love and intelligence than those who claimed no
special dispensation from God though I granted that Christianity ought to be a
wonderful influence I was annoyed, irked and confused by the attitudes they
took, the beliefs they held and the things they had done in the name of Christ.
People like myself had been burned and whole population put to fire and sword
on the pretext they did not believe as Christians did. History taught that
Christians were not the only offenders in this respect. It seemed to me that on
the whole it made little difference whether you were Mohammedan, Catholic, Jew,
Protestant or Hotentot. You were supposed to look askance at the other fellows
approach to God. Nobody could be saved unless they fell in with your ideas. I
had a great admiration for Christ as a man. He practiced what he preached and
set a marvelous example. It was not hard to agree in Principle with His moral
teachings but like most people, I preferred to live up to some moral standard[s]
but not to others. At any rate I thought I understood as well as any one what good
morals were and with the exceptions of my drinking I felt superior to most Christians
I knew. I might be weak in some respects but at least I was not hypocritical.
So my interest in Christianity other than its teaching of moral principles and
the good I hoped it did on balance was slight.
Sometimes I
wished that
I
had been religiously trained from early childhood[12]
that I might have the comfortable assurance about so many things I found it
impossible to have any definite convictions upon. The question of the
hereafter, the many theological abstractions and seeming contradictions - these
things were puzzling and finally annoying for religious people told me I must
believe a great many seemingly impossible things to be one of them. This
insistence on their part plus a powerful desire to possess the things of this
life while there was yet time had crowded the idea of the personal God more and
more out of my mind as the years went by. Neither were my convictions
strengthened by my own misfortunes. The great war and its aftermath seemed to
more certainly demonstrate the omnipotence of the devil than the loving care of
an all-powerful God
Nevertheless
here I was sitting opposite a man who talked about a personal God who told me
how he had found Him, who described to me how I might do the same thing and who
convinced me utterly that something had come into his life which had
accomplished a miracle. The man was transformed; there was no denying he had
been reborn. He was radiant of something which soothed my troubled spirit as
though the fresh clean wind of mountain top blowing through and through me I
saw and felt and in a great surge of joy I realized that
the
great presence which had made itself felt to me that war time day in Winchester
Cathedral had again returned.
As he continued
I commenced to see myself as in as in an unearthly mirror. I saw how ridiculous
and futile the whole basis of my life had been. Standing in the middle of the
stage of my life's setting I had been feverishly trying to arrange ideas and
things and people and even God, to my own liking, to my own ends and to promote
what I had thought to be true happiness. It was truly a sudden and breath-taking
illumination. Then the idea came – “The tragic thing about you is, that you
have been playing God.” That was it. Playing God. Then the humor of the
situation burst upon me, here was I a tiny grain of sand of the infinite shores
of God’s great universe and the little grain of sand, had been trying to play
God. He really thought he could arrange all of the other little grains about
him just to suit himself. And when his little hour was run out, people would
weep and say in awed tones—“How wonderful.”
So then came the
question – If I were no longer to be God than was I to find and perfect the new
relationship with my creator – with the Father of Lights who presides over all
? My friend laid down to me the terms and conditions which were simple but not
easy, drastic yet broad and acceptable to honest men everywhere, of whatever
faith or lack thereof. He did not tell me that these were the only terms – he
merely said that they were terms that had worked in his case. They were
spiritual principles and rules of practice he thought common to all of the
worthwhile religions and philosophies of mankind. He regarded them as stepping
stones to a better understanding of our relation to the spirit of the universe
and as a practical set of directions setting forth how the spirit could work in
and through us that we might become spearheads and more effective agents for
the promotion of God’s Will for our lives and for our fellows. The great thing
about it all was its simplicity and scope. [N]o really religious persons belief
would be interfered with no matter what his training. For the man on the street
who just wondered about such things, it was a providential approach, for with a
small beginning of faith and a very large dose of action along spiritual lines
he could be sure to demonstrate the Power and Love of God as a practical
workable twenty four hour a day design for living.
This is what my
friend suggested I do. One: Turn my face to God as I understand Him and say to
Him with earnestness - complete honesty and abandon that I henceforth place my
life at His disposal and direction.
forever. . . [13]
It is intriguing to note Bill W.’s
references in his personal testimony to “the blood of the Lamb;” “salvation and
the relation of the Cross, the Holy Ghost;” “Christianity;” “the name of
Christ,” and “Christians” that did not make it into later versions of “Bill’s Story.”
But their presence in this very early—perhaps “original”—version of his
personal story begins to make sense once one has an understanding of Bill W.’s
and Ebby’s shared Christian experience at Burr and Burton Seminary during Bill’s
senior year there in 1912-1913. During that school year:
1. Bill
and Ebby attended Burr and Burton Seminary’s required Bible study course
;[14]
2. Bill
and Ebby attended Burr and Burton Seminary’s required daily chapel (which
included hymns, prayers, Bible reading, and sermons);
[15]
3. Bill
was president of the seminary’s Young Men’s Christian Association
;[16]
4. Bill’s
“girl friend,” Bertha Bamford, was president of the seminary's Young Women’s Christian
Association
;[17]
and
5. Ebby
lodged for the entire school year with Rev. Sidney K. Perkins, minister of the
First Congregational Church in Manchester, Vermont (where Burr and Burton
Seminary was and still is located).
[18]
In closing this article, it is also important to remember
that A.A.’s cofounders, Bill W. and Dr. Bob, were Christian laymen, not
ministers or theologians.
[1]
Bill Wilson, W. G. Wilson’s Original Story,
no date, typescript, Stepping Stones archive, Katonah, New York. Dick B.
was given permission by the Stepping Stones archivist at the time, Paul Lang,
to photocopy this unpublished manuscript. Each line in the manuscript is
numbered, with the lines numbers going from 1 to 1,180. And Dick B. discussed this
document in a number of his published titles, including: (1) Dick B., The Oxford Group and Alcoholics Anonymous,
new, rev. ed./3rd ed. (Kihei, HI: Paradise Research Publications,
Inc., 1992, 1995, 1998), 373 [called “Bill Wilson’s Original Story”]; (2) Dick
B., The Akron Genesis of Alcoholics
Anonymous, Newton ed. (Kihei, HI: Paradise Research Publications, Inc.,
1992, 1998), 327-28 [called “Bill Wilson’s Original Story”]. Dick B. states in
footnote 31 (on page 28) concerning this manuscript: “The author obtained a
copy of this manuscript from Bill’s home at Stepping Stones during his October,
1991, visit there.” (3) Dick B., New
Light on Alcoholism: God, Sam Shoemaker, and (Kihei, HI: Paradise Research
Publications, Inc., 1994, 1999), 580 [called “Bill Wilson’s Original Story”].
(4) Dick B., Turning Point: A History of
Early A.A.’s Spiritual Roots and Successes (San Rafael, Calif.: Paradise
Research Publications, 1997), 82, fn. 1 (continued from page 81) [called “Bill
Wilson’s Original Story”];
Here are two places on the
Internet where (purported) reproductions of this manuscript may be seen
currently: (1) http://silkworth.net/gsowatch/1938/manu38/manu38.htm;
accessed 8/29/2015; and (2) “Message 6500 . . . Original draft of Bill’s Story;
From: bbthumpthump . . . 5/1/2010 3:47:00 PM; http://silkworth.net/aahistorylovers/text/2010Messages_6185_7089.txt;
accessed 8/28/2015.”
[2] In
this (purported) document, the chapter titled “There Is a Solution”—now chapter
two in the book Alcoholics Anonymous—is
chapter one. And the chapter titled “Bill’s Story”—now chapter one in the book Alcoholics Anonymous–is chapter two.
Bill W. said about these two chapters: “Some time in March or April [1938] I
began to work on what was to become the book Alcoholics Anonymous. [—Bill’s wife Lois, who kept a diary, stated
in her memoir, Lois Remembers, that
the start date for the Big Book was actually in May 1938.] By the time our big
money push was under way {“from early summer to early fall [1938]”—page 152 in Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age} I had
completed my own story and had roughed out what is now the second chapter of
the A.A. book. Mimeographed copies of these two chapters were part of the
paraphernalia for the money-raising operation, . . .” See Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age (New York: Alcoholics Anonymous
World Services, Inc., 1957), 153.
This (purported) document—with
no accompanying explanation as to where it came from—appears in several places
on the Internet; e.g.: (1) http://www.aa-district14.org/dl/PremanuscriptBB.pdf;
accessed 8/29/2015; (2) “Pre-Original Draft of Chapter 1 & 2”: http://westbalto.a-1associates.com/BIG%20BOOK%20INFO/Solution.htm;
accessed 8/29/2015; and (3) “‘There Is A Solution’ & the 2nd Draft of
‘Bill's Story’”: https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/aahistorylovers/conversations/topics/384;
accessed 8/29/2015.
[3] “‘Chapter
One: Bill’s Story’ in the ‘Original Manuscript’”: http://silkworth.net/originalmanuscript/chapter1.html#billsstory;
accessed 8/29/2015. Bill W. stated concerning what he called “a prepublication
copy of the text and some of the stories”: “By January [1939] the Akronites had
produced eighteen fine stories. . . . With somewhat more difficulty the New
York group produced ten stories. . . [T]he story section of the book was
complete in the latter part of January, 1939. So at last was the text. . . .
But someone . . . sounded a note of caution. . . . ‘. . . Had we not better
make a prepublication copy of the text and some of the stories and try the book
out on our own membership and on every kind and class of person that has
anything to do with drunks?’ . . . Four hundred mimeograph copies of the book
were made and sent to everyone we could think of who might be concerned with
the problem of alcoholism.” See Alcoholics
Anonymous Comes of Age, 164-65.
[4] See
“Chapter One: Bill’s Story” in The Book
That Started It All: The Working Manuscript of Alcoholics Anonymous (Center
City, Minn.: Hazelden, 2010): http://mcaf.ee/zytd23.
For additional information on the printer’s manuscript of Alcoholics Anonymous, see, for example: “The ‘Holy Grail’ of
Alcoholics Anonymous”: http://www.aaholygrail.com/3.html;
accessed 8/29/2015. Bill W. stated about the preparation of the printer’s
manuscript: “By now great numbers of the 400 mimeographs which had been sent
out had been returned. . . . Nothing now remained except to prepare the
printer’s copy of the book. We selected one of the mimeographs, and in Henry’s
clear handwriting all the corrections were transferred to it. [“Henry” was Bill’s
business partner and first “successful” sponsee in the New York area, Henry
(Hank) P., who later got drunk around September 1939.] There were few large
changes but the small ones were very numerous. The copy was hardly legible and
we wondered if the printer would take it, heavily marked up as it was.” See Alcoholics Anonymous Comes of Age, 167,
169.
[5]
The first printing of the first edition of Alcoholics
Anonymous was published in April 1939. Its copyright date was April 10,
1939. On April 10, 2014, Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc., published
the 75th Anniversary
Commemorative Edition of Alcoholics Anonymous , an exact reprint of the
first printing of the first edition of the Big Book: http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/announcing-the-75th-Anniversary-Commemorative-edition-of-Alcoholics-Anonymous.
See also: Alcoholics Anonymous: “The Big
Book”: The Original 1939 Edition, with a new Introduction [23 pages] by
Dick B. (Mineola, NY: Dover Publications, 2011).
[6] Chapter
One, “Bill’s Story,” in Alcoholics
Anonymous, 4th ed. (New York City: Alcoholics Anonymous World
Services, Inc., 2001), 11.
[7]
Dick B., The Conversion of Bill W.: More
on the Creator’s Role in Early A.A. (Kihei, HI: Paradise Research
Publications, Inc., 2006).
[8]
Mel B., Ebby: The Man Who Sponsored Bill
W. (Center City, MN: Hazelden, 1998).
[10] Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th
ed., 9.
[11] Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th
ed., 11.
[12]
Bill W.’s comment here about his wishing he “had been religiously trained from
early childhood” is misleading. Dick B. has written about Bill’s Christian
upbringing and training in several of his published titles and in numerous
articles. Bill’s Christian upbringing included: (1) Bill’s mother’s recounting
to him from his earliest childhood days his paternal grandfather William C. (“Willie”) Wilson’s religious
conversion experience which freed Willie from his alcoholism; (2) Bill’s attendance
at Sunday school at East Dorset Congregational Church; (3) Bill’s reading the
Bible with his maternal grandfather, Gardner Fayette Griffith; and (4) the
various Christian activities in which Bill participated at Burr and Burton
Seminary. Here’s just one example: Bill Wilson's pastor, D. Miner Rogers of
East Dorset Congregational Church, awarded Bill a New Testament for one
quarter-of-a-year’s perfect Sunday school attendance right after Bill and his
sister Dorothy returned from Rutland in 1906. There is an inscription in the
New Testament Bill received. It reads: “Will
Wilson, for perfect attendance at Sunday School, Fourth Quarter 1906 from his
pastor D. Miner Rogers East Dorset Vt. Jan 1, 1907 II Tim.3/14.15.” See: “The
Library of Books found at Stepping Stones, the historic home of Bill and Lois
Wilson”: http://docslide.us/documents/books-at-stepping-stones.html
[This information is found near the end of the document under the listing for “various”
(i.e., miscellaneous/otherwise unclassified items)].
[13] “Bill’s Original Story”: www.silkworth.net/gsowatch/manu/bill38en.rtf;
accessed 8/30/2015. Please note that I have corrected a few obvious typos, but
have left several of the typo’s in the text—some of which were in the typed
manuscript, and some of which were introduced by the person who attempted to
reproduce my dad’s (authorized) copy of the typed manuscript.
[14] Ken
B., “A.A. Cofounder Bill W.'s Four-Year Bible Study Course While Attending Burr
and Burton Seminary”; http://mauihistorian.blogspot.com/2013/06/aa-cofounder-bill-ws-four-year-bible.html;
accessed 8/30/2015.
[16] Bill
W., My First 40 Years (Center City,
Minn.: Hazelden, 2000), 29.
